Feel it all

I quit my job a week ago, because it's time to chase this dream. 

What a relief. What an absolute relief.

Five jobs, two and a half years, three cities, two countries. 

Here's what I've learnt:

From living in another country

People matter. So much. 

From mopping floors

Humility. To see that I am not too good for this kind of work at all, that having a degree didn't make me above hard work. And determination. That while I was mopping those floors I was going to think bloody hard about where I was headed and how to get myself there.

From working in a shopping mall

The value of silence. And patience, endless patience with those who require it.

From a job title that is related to my degree

The status this gives you, and how meaningless it is. That the dream job out of university wasn't the dream. And it didn't have to be either. 

From an office environment

How to collaborate. How to compromise. How to ask for a payrise. How to back myself. 

From a healthy pay packet

Money gave me freedom but it didn't make me free.

From redundancy

Nothing is certain. Not even your steady job. That if you need a kick in the pants you're going to get it ok. Jump off the bridge or be pushed. The water is exhilarating and you'll come up screaming but my word it is better than teetering at the edge forever and ever amen. 

From another retail job

That you will always be provided for. How to ride a bus. To have integrity. To keep being sure of something more than this. To voice your opinions. To act with grace despite feeling the opposite. To be assertive. To know your worth.

And here I am.

Twenty-two. I have a camera and a computer and a lot of feist and courage. All the backing in the world and finally, finally enough trust in myself to stand up and say.

I AM A PHOTOGRAPHER.

Hear me roar.

Hell yes I feel it all. The weight of this moment - and all of the moments that have added up to it - is not lost on me.

At last it all makes sense.

Bring it on.